Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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