you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
Randomize
