Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Randomize
