So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Randomize
