too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
