at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
Randomize
