His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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