Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Randomize
