i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
