New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
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