Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
Randomize
