Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Randomize
