The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
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