so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
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