He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
