All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
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