Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
