he puts the penis in happiness.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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