you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Randomize
