Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Randomize
