If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
i want to swaddle you in tequila
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Randomize
