If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Randomize
