So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
I need a burrito and a hug.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
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