How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize
