What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
Randomize
