Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
Randomize
