used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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