So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
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