a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
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