R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
Randomize
