You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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