So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
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