worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
Randomize
