is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize