i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
