I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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