Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
Randomize
