My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Randomize
