Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
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