Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
I cockslap morals
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize