You made me cry and you don't even care
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
