Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
