Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
