Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Randomize
