love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
Maybe he injected his testicle?
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
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