One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
