I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
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