What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Randomize
