One girl and one boy is just not enough.
I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Randomize