Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Randomize