Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
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