i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
how drunk are you?
Several
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
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