We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
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