That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Randomize