How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
that is very illegal...i love you.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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